I discovered the writings of Joan Didion late in life. She coined the phrase, ordinary instant. Perhaps the phrase leaped off the page because death comes in such a rushing finality. She wrote: Life changes fast/Life changes in the instant/You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. Joan’s husband was robbed of 3,500 days. In an ordinary instant.
For the past two months, I have been in constant pain. Doctors, hospitals and ERs. Yesterday I was in the San Luis Obispo ER for more tests. And there it was in an ordinary instant – advanced stages of liver cancer that had spread.
The doctor was sorry to pass on the news and couldn’t hold back tears. Cherie and I looked at each other, burst into tears and almost simultaneously said, “I think this is my ordinary instant.”
I have been blessed with two great loves in my life. I struggled with relationships for the first 70 years. In 2012 the most amazing woman entered my life. Cherie taught me about unconditional love. She is the greatest blessing ever. It is never too late to start over. My three children embraced her from the beginning.
My second love has been radio. Thank you for supporting my love affair for over a quarter of a century. I will be shutting down LARadio in the coming days.
Another blessing, after 42 years of being clean and sober, I have been so privileged to share my experience, strength and hope with younger men on the path to sobriety.
